babies were throwing up all over the place
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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