Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
