I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
