Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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