Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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