im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
