I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
