Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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