dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
