But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
false alarm, still single
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
