Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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