the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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