I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Randomize
