What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
