Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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