i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
