census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
