idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
