before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
