she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
