Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
