nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
