he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
