we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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