Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
