Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
