Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
