he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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