You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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