do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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