This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
