if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
