So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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