It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She's the barista slut.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
