it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My penis needs a shock collar
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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