It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
