Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It's Friday. Sex?
The best revenge is premature balding
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
