maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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