Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
