We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
