I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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