sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
