We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
