But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
