I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
