Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
