I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
