I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
jump out the window naked night went bad
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
