we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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