I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
