I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
