I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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