why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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