I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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