you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
