question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
