omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
