you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
