I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
